So many of us have an issue with saying “NO!” Yet it is essential that we learn how to say “No” when it comes to effective time-management.
Now I have to admit, I’ve never had too much of a problem saying “No” but I know a lot of you do and if you’re looking at the image to the right and thinking but I like going to parties and I don’t want to stay in and read a book, that’s great. My point to you is to make sure that you’re not saying “Yes.” when you really want to say “No.”
I definitely don’t have enough fingers or toes to count how many people, just this year have said to me “But I don’t like to say no.”
I’m giving you permission to say “No”
[tweetthis]If you need it, I’m giving you permission to say “NO!” [/tweetthis]
Are you overcommitting?
Here are just a few areas where I see people overcommitting on a regular basis.
- Work ~ Taking on more work than you can physically get done (well) in your normal work hours.
- Social events ~ Saying yes to every social event going. I’ve known people who regularly commit to 3 events on the same evening just because they can’t say “NO.”
- School related events ~ Signing your kids up for every club going, saying yes to the PTA, saying yes to having your friends kids after school two night a week…
The same 24 hours each day
Each of us has the same 24 hours each and every day. The way we use that 24 hours differs greatly and that’s a good thing. However, I want you to just do a quick tally of your commitments.
Does saying “Yes” to 3 coffee mornings this week mean that you say “No” to building your business?
Does saying “Yes” to that extra work mean you’re spending less time with your family?
Does saying “Yes” to every club your child shows an interest in mean you’re not getting any time in the evening and weekend for yourself?
Often when we are in the habit of saying “YES!” to other people. We are actually saying “NO!” to ourselves.
Now I don’t for one second want you to think that you always have to say “No.” But what I do want you to do is make sure you’re saying yes, only when you have the time and only when you really want to.
Commit to a “No”
If you’re currently feeling overstretched time wise. I want you to make a commitment right here, right now, that you will say “NO!” to at least one thing this week.
I’d love to hear what you’re saying “No” to. Leave me a comment below.
This blog post is part of a series. To read the rest of my time-management tips, go to Time-Management
OVER TO YOU
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Thanks, Wendy for the great article on saying NO!
You’re welcome Patti. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Wow, this is something that I really, really need to work on!
You made me look at it in an entirely different perspective.
When I say yes to editing someone else’s film project, I’m pushing aside my own projects.
When I had plans to go out to the nature center to film and I agree to dinner with a friend, I’m not getting the footage that I need.
While I’m helping others to finish their projects, obtain their goals and live their dreams, I’m just putting off my own.
Probably the hardest reason I can’t say no is when they lay a guilt trip on me. “You’re the only one I know that can get this edited for me in time for me to submit it to this film festival in England.” So, I push aside my own project that I was working on to submit to a festival and work on theirs.
It’s not like I don’t have valid excuses to say no. I have plenty. So it shouldn’t be hard to say no, I can’t take that on right now because I have to focus on my Kickstarter campaign for my tallgrass prairie film project. But I don’t. I just delay working on my Kickstarter campaign and focus on their project.
What’s worse is that after working on their project or whatever else it is that I didn’t say no to, I’m mentally drained and don’t feel like working on my own stuff even when I have the time to do it.
It has to stop.
I’m sure it’s one of those things that when you say no once, no matter how hard it is, it becomes easier to say it the next time. I hope that’s the case as I really need to focus on my own work for a change.
A good line is “I already have deadline I’m working on right now. I can’t commit to more work right now.”
You don’t need to say it’s your project. People are more likely to try and convince you to take on the work if they think you actually have the power to put it off, which of course you always can with your own work.
If yu want to work on this an EFT session will shift this issue, so that you feel fine saying no and committing to it.