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Is your social life making you happy?
Let me ask you a question. Do you just say “Yes” to every social event that you’re invited to regardless of whether you actually want to go or not? Or maybe you just feel you should do. If your social life isn’t working for you, it’s time for a change.
Sometimes we fill our lives so much with things that other people want we forget, or put on hold the things that we want.
Say NO to anything you don’t want to do
Okay, there may be some things that you need to do that you don’t want to do. In general though just say “No.”
If you’ve not been used to saying “No” to things then this is going to be a bit of a milestone for you but you can do it. If you do find it difficult, try postponing a reply. For example, if someone calls to ask if you will attend a social event and you know it’s not something you want to go to, instead of saying YES, say “I will have to get back to you, I think I have other plans on that day.” Then send an email or text message saying that you won’t be able to attend.
Don’t feel that you ever have to justify saying “NO”
You don’t need to explain why you won’t be attending. Don’t make excuses, just say “I have other plans.” Even if that plan is to have a bath and go to bed early.
Give up on the shoulds
Again, like the above advice, just say “NO” to the things you feel you should do. I used to attend up to 10 coffee mornings/charity events a week, yes really. It was crazy but I felt I should support the people inviting me and of course the charity but the reality was I resented going.
What I needed and wanted to be doing was working on my business and as much as I’d like to, I simply can’t support every charity going. We all have our personal reasons for wanting to support individual charities and what’s important to me isn’t necessarily important to all my friends and vice versa. So money wise and time wise this was not working for me.
I now attend probably 1 or two a month at a push but I still support the charities I want.
Another big should area is with family. In this case, I recommend being choosy rather than saying yes to everything. For example, I don’t want to sit through every school play my niece is in, but I do want to take her to the cinema now and then.
Say a big YES to the things that you do want to do.
Only you know what you want to do. I have friends who want to go out every night of the week. For me personally, I’d hate that, I like my home time. So I would never book my evenings up so that I’m out every night. Also, think about the money side of things. Do you want to spend £50 going to an event that you don’t really want to go to or do you want to save that money for a day out that you really do want to do?
Put yourself first. It really is okay. Put the things you want in life first rather than what everyone else wants.
A little bit of compromise
This might seem like I’m backtracking but hear me out. In life, there does need to be a bit of give and take. Every year I go on holiday with my mum, sisters, and niece. Thankfully we mostly like to do the same things, but we also make sure each of us gets to do something we really like.
Sometimes when we go on days out, my teenage son will say, but I don’t want to go and look around gardens. Then I remind him of all the things his granny who does love gardens does that he likes. And it’s all okay.
I think my key takeaways for you is to simplify and choose wisely what you say Yes to.
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